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She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood

October 10, 2012

Andrew and I were in Amherst for the weekend, visiting his brother, enjoying the foliage, and perusing around town. We went into a little bookstore and I found this book, She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood by Amie Klempnauer Miller. I sat down and started to read and was hooked.

Between stories of how they met, dated, and live now, Amie tells how she and her partner Jane have been debating about whether to have a baby. After literally years of discussion, they finally decide to venture into parenthood and Amie tries to get pregnant. A year and a half later, and no pregnancy, Jane is willing to try, and instantly becomes pregnant.

Not quite a dad, and definitely not a “mother’s helper,” as a family member calls her, Amie isn’t sure where she stands or how she feels about being the “mama” who tried but wasn’t able to have a biological child. But together, Amie and Jane prepare for their daughter’s arrival:

I felt like I was in a foreign country. I had no notion how to go about choosing the right car seat. I didn’t know when or, for that matter, why strollers became travel systems. I didn’t know what we need to have or do to stimulate tactile learning, visual learning, and musical aptitude, but evidently we are supposed to do – and buy – something. I don’t know if we really need – or even want – to communicate with the baby in utero, but we found products to help us do this, as if Jane’s belly were some sort of curvaceous Ouija board.

Enter Hannah, a typical baby who rarely sleeps, and cue two neurotic moms, and we have ourselves a really funny and touching memoir of a loving and decidedly normal – maybe even boring – family. I loved reading about the trials and tribulations of how this awesome couple became an awesome family.

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